Saturday, July 26, 2008

Introducing our babies- ultrasound pictures!

Here are some of our latest ultrasound pictures. I may be biased but I think they're pretty damn cute :)

Baby A - Katharine (Kate)



Baby B - Daniel (Danny)



Katie sucking her thumb



Danny waving



3D image of Kate



3D image of Danny

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Ultrasound today!

This was the big one - the Level 2 u/s in which we would get to see the babies' development and growth, and make sure everything was going smoothly. Oh yeah, and find out the sexes too!

I have had a feeling for weeks now that there was at least one boy in there. I have no real reason to believe this, just mother's intuition I guess. I thought we might even end up with 2 boys. Maybe it's because having 2 boys seems scary to me (I'm definitely a girly girl) so I was mentally preparing myself. We would have been thrilled with anything, but one of each would be ideal.

Anyway, everything measured well and both babies are developing normally! Phewww. I can't tell you what a relief that is.

Ok, here are the results and the real reason you're reading (I know you probably skipped ahead to see this ;)

Baby A - GIRL!

Baby B - BOY!

I thought it was funny that when the ultrasound tech was looking for the genitals of Baby B, she wouldn't say penis. Yet she had no problem pointing out his scrotum. "Here's his scrotum, and here's his, um, boy part!" You can say scrotum but you can't say penis? I think scrotum is a weirder word than penis, but whatever.

The only semi-disappointing news was that the doctor pretty much shot down my little remaining chance of having a vaginal birth. I had been told earlier that I had about an 80% chance of needing a C-section, which I was OK with. I've been mentally preparing myself for a C-section but I knew that 20% chance still existed if both babies were head down. But because of the placement of Baby B's cord, it doesn't look like that will happen. With twins it's common for the babies' cords to be more to the edges of the placenta rather than in the center. With a vaginal birth, there's a very good chance that the strain of delivery could cause a serious hemorrhage in the babies, which is obviously dangerous. He basically said I should just schedule a C-section around 37 or so weeks, and if I go into labor any earlier than that, they will just do a C-section then. Pretty much anytime after 34 weeks they won't bother to stop the labor. So while it's somewhat disappointing, I will do whatever is recommended to keep me and my babies safe. And hey, now we get to pick their birthday! :)

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

I'm being brave...belly shots!

One thing that drives me crazy about seeing belly pics in other people's bios or blogs is that every.single.one of them are super skinny pre-pregnancy. They have flat-as-a-washboard abs til about 8 weeks or so, and then suddenly they get the cutest, tiniest little bump.

Um, yeah, mine aren't like that.

I had a belly pre-pregnancy. So my pregnant belly is really more like 2 bumps - one that's babies, and one above it that's just fat. I'm halfway through the pregnancy and still waiting for that to go away. Not so much. So I have decided to show you all some REAL belly pictures. I hope you enjoy!

::deep breath::

10 weeks, 6 days



14 weeks, 1 day




19 weeks, 4 days




19 weeks, 5 days - full shot

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

East Coast vs. West Coast

I spent last week away from my cozy home in suburban Philadelphia, and was all the way across the country in Olympia, Washington for a conference. Olympia is about an hour south of Seattle and might honestly be one of the most beautiful areas I've ever seen. I couldn't help but notice some major differences between this area and my home back East.

I am a Northerner, a true Jersey girl. With the exception of 2 years in graduate school, I have never lived outside of the New York or Philadelphia metro areas. I loved my time as a graduate student in Virginia, and was happy to get to know another part of the country. Southerners are just so sweet and friendly, but it took some getting used to. Everything is sooooooo slow, and it feels like there's nothing to do. As much as I loved it down there, I was often aching to go back to the craziness and activity of home.

Those who live in the Northeast (which I'm defining as the Boston/New England area down to Washington DC, and about as far west as Pittsburgh) are very different from the rest of the country. Quite frankly, we don't like anybody. We don't trust strangers, we're always stressed out because of traffic and congestion, and we always need to get where we're going a ridiculous hurry. Yet in my limited experience with the rest of the country, it seems that people in the South, Midwest, and West Coast are (gasp!) NICE! It's shocking at first, but I found it to be quite refreshing.

One thing I noticed about Olympia (and possibly Washington State in general) was a strong focus on environmental issues and vegan/organic lifetsyles. Nearly every restaurant we looked at had several vegan options, and even the microbrewery we went to served organic beer. (Wish I could have had some!)

The folks of Olympia also seem to be much more liberal when it comes to, um, chemical enhancement. (Translation - the city is a bunch of stoners.) We passed by a restaurant with a huge sign that read "NO ALCOHOL OR DRUGS". You know you're in a special place when the banning of already illegal substances needs to be clearly spelled out.

The people are interesting too. We were walking towards the microbrewery when this random guy comes up to someone in our group (one of the most unassuming guys you'll ever meet) and says, "Dude, I bet you 5 bucks I can hit you harder than you can hit me!" Yeah, cause that's a bet you want to take. Needless to say, we kept on walking, chuckling to ourselves. I guess he must have been kicked out of the NO ALCOHOL OR DRUGS place.

All in all, it was a great experience, but I must admit I was happy to come back to the humidty, traffic, and general crabbiness of Philadelphia. Welcome home.




The incredible Mt. Rainier, which is simply amazing.

Monday, June 16, 2008

Thoughts on Infertility

I seem to be making a habit of stealing things from other blogs/bios to put in here. You can say I'm lazy but I prefer to think of it as honoring people smarter and more creative than me!

This has been posted in a few other infertility/TTC blogs I read, and I think it makes an interesting point.

So, what do you think people would say to you if you were paraplegic instead of infertile?

1. As soon as you buy a wheelchair, I bet you’ll be able to walk again!

2. You can’t use your legs? Boy, I wish I was paralyzed. I get so tired of walking, and if I were paralyzed I wouldn’t have to walk anywhere!

3. My cousin was paralyzed but she started shaving her legs in the other direction and she could walk again. You should try that.

4. I guess God just didn’t mean for you to be able to walk.

5. Oh, I know exactly how you feel, because I have an ingrown toenail.

6. Sorry, we don’t cover treatment for paraplegia, because it’s not a life-threatening illness.

7. So… when are *you* going to start walking?

8. Oh, I have just the opposite problem. I have to walk walk walk - everywhere I go!

9. But don’t you *want* to walk?

10. You’re just trying too hard. Relax and you’ll be able to walk.

11. You’re so lucky… think of the money you save on shoes.

12. I don’t know why you’re being so selfish. You should at least be happy that *I* can walk.

13. I hope you don’t try those anti-paralysis drugs. They sometimes make people run too fast and they get hurt.

14. Look at those people hiking… doesn’t that make you want to hike?

15. Just relax, you’ll be walking in no time.

16. Oh do my legs hurt, I was walking and walking and going up and down the stairs all day.

17. I broke my leg skiing, and was on crutches for weeks, and was worried I’d have a permanent limp, but I’m 100% healed.

18. I’d ask you to be in my wedding party but the wheelchair will look out of place at the altar.

19. You’re being selfish, not coming on the hike with us, and looking at all of my track & field trophies.

20. Don’t complain, you get all the good parking places.

21. If you just lose weight your legs will work again.

22. If you would just have more sex, you could walk!

23. You don’t know how to walk? What’s wrong with you? Here let a real man show you how to walk!

24. You are just trying too hard to walk. Give up, and then you’ll walk.

25. Here, touch my legs, then you’ll walk!

26. Just take a vacation, and the stress-break will be sure to get you walking!

27. When *we* were young we only had to worry about having to walk too much.

28. And I bet a paraplegic going to a bookstore doesn’t find books about paralysis stacked next to all the books on running…

So here’s a little hint. If someone you know tells you that she’s trying to get pregnant and it’s taking longer than expected, DON’T tell her to just relax. Don’t tell her to adopt and then surely she’ll get pregnant with her own child. Don’t tell her that God has a plan for her. Don’t say, “At least it’s fun trying!”

Scheduling sex with the person you love isn’t fun. Getting vaginal ultrasounds every other day and intramuscular injections in your ass twice a day isn’t fun. Finding out every single month that - yet again - it didn’t work this month either is Just. Not. Fun.

DO tell her that you’re sorry she’s going through such pain/grief/frustration. Do tell her that you’re glad she told you. Do tell her that, even if you don’t bring it up (because you want to respect her privacy and understand that she might not feel like talking about it sometimes), that you’re there for her if she ever wants to talk or vent. And DON’T feel that because she told you that it’s okay for you to tell your other friends, children, co-workers, neighbors, cousins, mailman, whomever - unless she tells you that it’s okay to do so. Your need to share news pales in comparison to her need to maintain a shred of privacy and dignity.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Calvin and Hobbes get it

This simple little Calvin and Hobbes comic strip so perfectly captures the conflicted feelings of an early miscarriage. Yes, Calvin's talking about a raccoon, but still. Thanks to Totalpanic for letting me borrow it!

(It's a little small but if you click on it you can read the whole thing)

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

You mean this is just my personality?

I had a mini revelation the other day. I was thinking about how I worry about all sorts of stupid little things about this pregnancy - like is diet soda safe or did the rum from the 3 bites of tiramisu I had hurt the babies. I often wish I could be like other people and just relax and enjoy things. I had always attributed my worrying to the fact that I had a miscarriage and that makes me extra cautious. But the truth is, I think I put too much stock in that theory. I'm not sure now that the miscarriage changed much of anything. I really think I would still be this insane if I had never lost a pregnancy. Or even if I got pregnant on the first try. I guess being a neurotic worrywart is just who I am. Pathetic, isn't it?

It's ironic that I write about this today, June 10, which was the EDD (Expected Due Date) of our first baby. It's bittersweet to think that I would either have a newborn right now or would be waiting impatiently to go into labor(and today is effing HOT!) I can't dwell on this for too long, because it does no good. Plus, if I hadn't miscarried, I wouldn't have gotten pregnant with the twins, and I realize now that is how it was supposed to be. The miscarriage was a roadblock along the way - a painful and tragic roadblock - but it was part of our journey to become parents. And I'm having a healthy pregnancy now, which is all that matters.

On another note, I had another appointment with the perinatologist today, and everything looks good. Cervix is closed, heartbeats are right where they should be (145 and 153) and everything seems right on track. Now I just need to wait and let them hang out a few more months!

...even me. And everybody needs a place to let it out. My blog about trying to have a baby, loss, and life in general.