Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Graduation Day

Yesterday was my last day with the RE. I've offically graduated back to the OB!

It was a great appointment. The hematoma is gone - YAY!!! And both babies are doing great. Shrimpy (Baby A) was really active today - heartrate at 190 and we even saw a little leg kick! Beanie (Baby B) seemed a bit more subdued than their sibling - heartrate was 173, which is still great. We did get a little wave though! This was the first time we really saw them move in there, and it was awesome. Brian was there as well and it was really exciting for both of us to be there and see it. They're measuring well too - Shrimpy at 9wks 4d and Beanie at 10wks even.

I admit, I was sad to leave this office. The nurse, Rhonda, was so sweet. She was so sad to see us leave that she actually started tearing up! She is awesome - she's been with us from the beginning. She's seen every ultrasound, she showed me how to give myself the trigger shot, and she always takes my blood. She was there when I freaked out about my insurance not covering IUI, and when I stared in disbelief at the TWO sacs on the ultrasound! I will miss her, and I promised to send pictures of the babies when they're born :)

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Hematoma update

I had another appt. this week, and things continue to look good. First off, the babies are doing great - measuring exactly 1 week ahead of where they were last week. So 8 wks 3 days and 8 wks 6 days, respectively. The heartrates were up, too - 177 and 179. Yay! Plus, the hematoma is going away. It shrunk from 12mm x 24mm to 8mm x 13mm. So that is definitely a good thing. It looks like it will reabsorb on its own. And I haven't had any bleeding from it, which makes me very happy :)

Finally, they're starting to look more like babies instead of, well, blobs. They actually look like beans, so I'm calling one of them Beanie and the other one Shrimpy. Yes, Shrimpy is the smaller one. Yes, I'm a terrible mother for making fun of my embryo's size. But I think they'll forgive me!

We've also started to tell some people, which is exciting but also scary. I keep worrying that we'll have to untell our family if something happens. I shouldn't worry, because the appointments have been great, but I can't help it. That innocence is long gone. We had dinner with friends this weekend, and she is also pregnant - about 8 weeks ahead of me. It's amazing how calm they were about everything. They didn't really have trouble getting pregnant, and haven't had a miscarriage. They had no irrational worries, they just assumed everything would be fine. And it will be. I guess I'm just jealous of that. I lost my TTC innocence around Cycle 7 or 8, and my pregnancy innocence was gone the second I started spotting last fall. It would be nice to just believe everything will be perfect and not imagine the worst case scenario. Maybe someday!

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Remembering Va Tech - 04/16/07

A year ago today, 32 innocent students, faculty and staff died in the tragic and senseless shootings at Virginia Tech. This tragedy really shook me last year, for a number of reasons. I work at a college, so the idea of this sort of widespread violence at an institution of higher education is just frightening. I also attended graduate school at James Madison University in Virginia. JMU and VT were rivals, but there is also a deep connection between the 2 universities. I also have a cousin who is currently a freshman there. He wasn't there last year, but no doubt today is an emotional day on that campus. My heart goes out to everyone who lost a friend or family member that day, and is still grieving over the terror that occurred.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Ultrasound update - good and bad news

I went in today for another u/s (I know, I am totally spoiled - I will miss the RE office). The good news- there are still 2 little sacs, and 2 little heartbeats! One was at 159 and one was 161- both very good. One measured at 7w3d and the other at 7w6d, which is GREAT (last time the smaller one was measuring about a week behind, so I'm glad it's catching up!)

However, the dr. did ask me if I had been bleeding. I told him no, and he said he saw a hematoma right next to the sacs. He said it was nothing to worry about, but he told me no sex, heavy lifting, or strenuous exercise until my next appt. next week. Basically it's some excess fluid and blood. He said this can be totally normal, and it will probably disappear on its own but may cause some bleeding.

I'm not too worried - I mean, a hematoma is just a fancy word for bruise, right? But anytime there's something out of the ordinary, you get concerned. So I'm just going to take it easy this week and hope I don't have any bleeding. I'm taking comfort in the fact that the u/s showed the babies are doing great.

Monday, April 7, 2008

It's official.

As if the doubling betas and visible sacs on the ultrasound weren't enough to convince me, the symptoms have started. I am definitely pregnant.

I'll be honest, so far I think I've been pretty lucky. While it's still early, I've heard that most moms of twins feel symptoms right away, and they're horrendous. Mine just started this weekend and have been relatively moderate. Hopefully I didn't just jinx myself to spend the next 2 months chained to the bathroom.

1. Sore boobs.
This was the first. It started a few days after getting the official news. Not terribly sore, but I could feel the tenderness if they were touched. So what do I do? Keep groping myself constantly to make sure I'm still pregnant (with my last pregnancy sore boobs were my only symptom and they went away right before the m/c). The constant fondling not only makes me look like a perv, but makes the soreness worse. Smart girl, aren't I?

I'm sorry, what was I saying? I must have dozed off...
I'm finding it hard to stay up at night, and I get pretty run down during the day, even though my job is sitting at a desk. In fact, it's taken me a while to write this blog post, because I'm not focusing.

3. Constipation
No further explanation needed.

4. Nausea
So far, this has been the worst part. It started this past weekend. I haven't puked yet (Thank God) but my stomach has just felt...off. It helps to eat a lot of small meals and not let myself get hungry. I hope it doesn't get worse.

Friday, April 4, 2008

Holy Crap, Part 2 (Times 2?)

Holy crap. We went into the REs this morning for the ultrasound, hoping we could maybe see or hear a heartbeat. Turns out, there are 2 sacs! And both of them have a teeny tiny embryo squirming around in there! We could see little flickers of heartbeats in both of them. We could only hear the heartbeat of one, but apparently that is normal since it's still pretty early. One is measuring exactly right, and one is a bit smaller (but they said that was OK.)

The RE said at this point there is still a 20% chance of losing one. But I'm hoping that everything will continue to go well! Brian and I are a little bit freaked out, especially about the financial piece, but we are so, so happy. I cannot believe this! Twins!!!!

...even me. And everybody needs a place to let it out. My blog about trying to have a baby, loss, and life in general.